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Old February 15th, 2008, 03:08 PM   #21
Gladtobemom
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She has his PERMISSION to grow her hair?

Say the word (and give us his address)

We can start sending him the long hair sweepings from our bathroom floors.
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Old February 15th, 2008, 04:40 PM   #22
AJoifulNoise
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gladtobemom
She has his PERMISSION to grow her hair?

Say the word (and give us his address)

We can start sending him the long hair sweepings from our bathroom floors.

Man, I miss the drink-spitting smilie! I'm glad I had set my drink down!
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Old February 15th, 2008, 05:42 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gladtobemom
We can start sending him the long hair sweepings from our bathroom floors.

Along with the kitty litter also swept up, no doubt.
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Old February 15th, 2008, 06:46 PM   #24
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Wow, he sounds terrible. I hope she sees the light very soon so you won't have to worry about her.

I was kind of seeing the, "well, maybe she mentioned she wanted to grow her hair long, and he was just commenting on it" point of view, but with this new information, that seems pretty doubtful. You shouldn't need to tell your boyfriend that if he hits you, it's over. And I really can't stand controlling people.
Even before you mentioned the other problems with him, I can't imagine my boyfriend telling me what I can or can't do with my hair. It would never even occur to him... he will tell me his preferences (which luckily, is long!), but he also says that I'm beautiful with any hair length (I cut it off last year), and that it's my hair, so it's my decision. I feel the same way about his hair... although honestly, hair (on him) is kind of a non-issue for me. I like his hair short, I like his hair long, I liked it when he had it in a gentle (not too extreme) mohawk for a few weeks!

I'm also kind of confused by her decision to date her sister's ex, especially if he hit her. That's not a decision I can imagine being comfortable with (Thought: "My sister kissed these lips I'm kissing now.... ewwwwww!"), and I would not be able to accept someone who had physically abused someone I love, regardless of the "story." Not trying to say anything bad about your daughter, but I do hope she comes to her senses soon!
Good luck, my thoughts are with you.
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Old February 15th, 2008, 06:57 PM   #25
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I haven't scooped up the poop in the yard from my puppy for a few days.. and it's been raining, so it's mushy...
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Old February 15th, 2008, 08:13 PM   #26
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I realize that sometimes people do things for the sake of family loyalty that they shouldn't, but honestly. This child needs to start thinking. And she needs some higher standards. Dating your sisters' leftovers?? Dating your sister's abusive leftovers? Allegedly abusive leftovers? Yuck.

Ask your child if she's really given any serious thought to the fact that she's dating a man that used to go out with her sister. Etiquette-wise, this is questionable at best, even if the man in question is truly gentleman-like in all ways.

Is the world really THAT small? Are there REALLY so few men available that you've gotta date someone who's (allegedly) abused your sister?

As for that allegation of abuse, why don't you believe your sister, or your mom? Is their (combined) word not good enough? What would it take for you to believe that the man you're seeing is abusive? How low are your standards, and why do you think so little of yourself?

Why do you allow this man to control your conversations? Where does his control end, and why is it necessary?

Just a few random thoughts I had.

(No way I'm ever dating anyone who's ever dated my sister. No way. Shudder.)

I really do hope things work out for your daughter.
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Old February 15th, 2008, 10:02 PM   #27
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I'm happily "one of those hair people", laugh that one off.

Deeper issues though. I really have to agree with Delila and chloeishare,
it's too close... with already too many issues.

Hugs to you.
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Old February 16th, 2008, 09:33 PM   #28
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cruztacean, I hope your dd wakes up and dumps that poor excuse for a man soon. It's gotta be truly difficult to watch someone you love so much make such poor choices. I'm feeling sorry for what I put my mom through, now. {{{hugs}}}

I like the "not here to decorate your world" saying, too! I didn't get the self esteem to feel that way until I was 34 years old. I hope she gets it much sooner than I did.

btw, your hair has really grown and looks lovely!
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Old February 17th, 2008, 05:07 PM   #29
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I'm ONE of THOSE hair people, and I'm PROUD of it.
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Old February 18th, 2008, 09:01 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cruztacean

Daughter, inspired by me (), wants to grow her hair long. Boyfriend from hell tells her, "Yeah, you can grow your hair. Just don't become one of those hair people."

I have just one or two questions to ask before castigating and castrating this guy based on his comments:

One, did your daughter ask his opinion? If so, no matter how much we might disagree, the fact that he gave his opinion should not be held against him.

Two, what is his definition of "hair people". Personally, I love women with long hair, and find humor in those that spend hours a day maintaining the "latest" shorter modern look or style, be it spiked, multicolored, etc. My ex thinks I'm somewhat of a hair nut. So be it. Another badge I have no trouble bearing.

I have had experience with a daughter's BF who had social skills that made it difficult to distinguish between human and humanoid. That being said, it's difficult to make such a judgement with so little information.

I too would be very concerned about the controlling issues. I just can't tell from this post if they really exist.
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