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Old June 18th, 2008, 12:09 AM   #1
Raw Beauty
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Join Date: February 2008
Location: Texas
Age: 34
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Default being more "girly"?

I wasn't sure what category to put this in so I figured I'd just post it here.

I've never really been a girly-girl. I put my hair in the same ponytail every day, I dress like I just rolled out of bed, and I don't wear make-up. All my friends are boys, except for a three wonderful ladies who live in different states (none near me).

Lately I feel like I'm going through a phrase where I want to be more feminine and put a little more time into how I present myself to the world. The problem is I know nothing about fashion, personal grooming, make-up, beauty, etc. My girls are too far away and too busy for me to bug them with stupid questions about exfoliation and moisturizing.

So I was wondering, besides a forum like this one, what are some other good resources for people like me--totally clueless? Books, magazines, websites, any suggestions would be really appreciated. Thanks in advance!
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Old June 18th, 2008, 05:19 AM   #2
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Join Date: March 2008
Location: Over The Hill
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How about family? Your mom, cousins, aunts could perhaps give you some pointers. You could also approach classmates or co-workers, a casual question like "How do you keep your skin so nice?" could yield a helpful answer, and who knows? You might make some new girlfriends.

You could start with magazines and tv shows like What Not To Wear for some ideas - just be aware that they are vehicles to SELL STUFF and try not to get caught up in the spendy aspects. Going to the makeup counters at the department store or a place like Ulta for advice is also helpful for techniques and ideas... again, be aware that they are going to try and sell you their products. Learn the techniques and what colors work for you, then you can go purchase less expensive cosmetics to practice with.

Lastly, you don't have to go "all out girly" right off the bat. You can pick and choose what works and feels comfortable for you so the "real you" shines through. I'll never be a totally "girly girl" but I do enough to make me feel pretty.
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Old June 18th, 2008, 10:24 AM   #3
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Im not very good at this, either

But I, too went through a phase where I just wanted to be more 'girly.' Unfortunately, I cant walk in heels, I curse like a sailor, and Im too lazy to shave/do my hair/dress nice/keep my nails done/whatever to look feminine. Im really more confortable in jeans, though I do wear make up most of the time.

Anyways, Ive found a happy medium that doesnt require too much effort. If I wear jeans, I wear ones that arent too baggy and wear a nice blouse with them. Im way more comfortable in dark colors, I dont think Im ever going to be 'feminine' enough to wear pink, lol. So I dont try. I wear makeup minimally and do my hair when I feel like it and have the time.

Really, all I did to find my (admittedly small) feminine side was to look at women I saw in grocery stores or wherever. I dont find TV or magazines to be an acurate representation of the real world. It may be a little closer to reality if you live in a big metropolitan city, but I live in a tiny hillbilly river town. If I started dressing like the women in Vogue, Id be run out of town with pitchforks. So the best way for me to figure out what I wanted to do and what was appropriate for my area was to watch others. Some of the styles people here wear I dont like, but I was able to get enough of an idea to get started, anyway. I think the biggest thing was getting a pair of capris. I always hated these things, but they are really comfortable, not a big step away from just wearing pants, and you can dress them up or down as you see fit.
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Old June 18th, 2008, 02:28 PM   #4
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Location: Ralston, CA
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There is no requirement that if you're female you have to be girly!

With that said, LHC has some great articles for hair styles if you want to branch out from your regular ponytail, and www.makeupalley.com has lots of boards that you post questions on and search for topics you're interested in like "blush tutorial" or whatever.
I don't do magazines unless it's cooking or clothing. So I second asking family or close friends what you're curious about. I started wearing eye shadow when I was 22 because my friend wore it and I loved how it looked and I asked her to teach me. She even helped me pick out my first shadow and liner. :}
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Old July 1st, 2008, 01:07 AM   #5
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Being a non girly (camo btu's and a black tank top being what I wear almost every day) who occasionally goes through a girly day, go for simple and easy. Try a mineral makeup so you just have to buff it on and not deal with zebra streaks from inexperience. A light lipstick and some easy eye liner or mascara ( i dont recomend both if you are not experienced with the make up stuff). Put your hair in the pony tail if you are dedicated to it, but leave a strand out in front (very femmy). I cant be bothered to paint my nails but a few minutes with buffer make it look like I manicure (these are 20 dollars at a mall kiosk and 2 dollars at sally beauty). Keep your regular comfy pants and pair with a more curve hugging top and you are good to go in under 10 minutes and still feeling like yourself.

Of course you can take this up a notch and go for more girly, its just what I do when im feeling a little more effeminate than usual.
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Old July 1st, 2008, 02:59 AM   #6
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Age: 38
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Mineral makeup's hard to screw up. And even the most hardcore back to earth never touch chemicals type that doesn't wear makeup can still (and often does) look "girly", it's just very difficult for her to do it in a slutty or trampy way. Buy your snarky t-shirts tight enough to show your curves, if you're not for the ethereal vegan princess look. I think a lot of it is how you project yourself (as in "why with my hair this long and my boobs this big do I still come off as masculine?!?") but I haven't figured out how to solve that one yet. Aside from mineral makeup, a little eyeshadow, and threatening to beat up anyone that insinuates I'm a lesbian. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just if all the guys think that, they tend to write you off as potential dating material, and I like guys...
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Old July 2nd, 2008, 12:30 AM   #7
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Join Date: June 2008
Age: 57
Posts: 5


I think being a "girly" girl comes from with in. My daughter is one of them. From a very young age she was all about being girly. She did not pick it off of me. I was a tom boy and still am, to the dismay of my daughter. I still prefer to wear pants/jean to dresses or skirts anyway.
I think you may be describing frumpy and blah. I do not think the opposite of "girly" is frumpy.

I do not think you are clueless, you just have not being girly all your life. I think you are entering a new stage of your life, so the teen year get up does not feel right.
I still think women can be themselves, take care of themselves, be without needing to wear make up or need to look "girly".

I suggest not going to the opposite extreme to how you are now.
Example, instead of thinking you need to wear make up. Take care of your skin. If you feel like you need more, go with a lip stick or mascara or a bit of eye shadow. One small thing at a time.

I am not sure what you define as just waking up. So I will give examples of going more feminine.

Instead of sweat pants buy stretch jeans or pants. (Very comfortable but do not look like sweats). Instead of oversized T-shirts, buy some nice tops or T-shirts with gathers. I think very low cut or tight tops are not girly girl either and far from it..

Remember we are all different. Example, I like OhioSky, am not a girly girl. Yet we are very different. I do not wear make up, yet I do wear bright colours and do not like dark colours.

I am not sure how basic of grooming you are looking for. So I will go basic. (I am not implying you do not know this.):
Shower or bathe
If you use perfumes and you smell it, it is to much.
Clean hair and brushed
Teeth brushed.
Shoes with proper soles.
Hems not torn. (Now may be fashionable.)

Is this the kind of web sites you are asking about?


Here is a simple grooming tip for washing your face. (Everyone does it differently.) There are more links.

How To Wash Your Face Properly?

Last edited by MeMyselfandI : July 2nd, 2008 at 07:39 AM.
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