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Old November 7th, 2012, 12:28 PM   #25
WaitingSoLong
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Join Date: September 2012
Location: Indiana
Age: 41
Posts: 303
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justgreen
I have very severe Fibro, which went unchecked since my late 20's. I finally got a diagnosis and help about 6.5 years ago. I am now 56. The medicine I take is crucial to my pain relief. Neurontin (Gabapentin generic) tells my brain to tell my nerve endings to 'SHUT THE FRAK UP!'

I take pain medication for a totally different condition. I have two bad discs , L4/L5 that are almost touching, with arthritis in between. I have arthritis in both knees, the right knee is worse , has a cyst behind it that collects fluid which a radiologist drains off every two months. He also injects steroids through the fronts of both kneecaps every two months which gives me incredible pain relief.


:::snip:::

Everyone is different but I am a firm believer in mind over matter about some things. I had to WANT to be able to get around and do things I enjoyed doing. I had to take the initiative to wean myself off the depression meds and follow through.

Yes, I am addicted to my pain meds, but I am a high functioning sick person. I don't lie around stoned on my meds a lot like some folks do. And because of this my doctor is very trusting and listens to me and generally gives me what I request because he knows I am not going to abuse it.

Justy, my MIL has collapsed discs in her cervical vertebrae (something like that) and arthritis in both knees. She has been having a knee replacement for a couple years now but they can't manage her pain enough to get her mobile enough to do the procedure. She had back/neck surgery twice before I met them (prior to 2010).

A lot of doctors think her fibro is mental. She DOES have mental issues, severe depression, the trauma like I said, and she is one who just seems more motivated to feel sorry for herself than anything. I feel bad for her, I truly do. I can see how she can feel sorry for herself, too, but her quality of life is so poor, I honestly don't understand it, any of it, at all. I am just not in her shoes and it seems like XYZ could be helpful but???

I try hard not to judge her at all, but she can be hard to be around when she is in "poor me" mode. Honestly, though, sometimes I wonder if a lot of her pain is a physical manifestation of the childhood trauma she had she refuses to let go of. I talked to my dad about it once (licensed counselor, PTSD among other things) and asked him why, after all these years, she can't make peace with it all somehow. He gave me a kind explanation of why not, but it is still incomprehensible to me.

She, too, is addicted to her pain meds, that is just part of the process of being on them. She goes on and off them, slowly, otherwise she eventually reaches a place where no dosage will help her. When she is weaning off, she is actually the most pleasant but in the most pain (???). I think the mental state exacerbates the physical state at some point.

It helps me to talk about it. DH and I have no idea how to be around her anymore. Her personality has changed through the last 10 years and she lives almost next door so we just stink at dealing with it. I don't know if her personality is all mental issues with her meds, or if it really is just her. Honestly, sometimes it seems very put on. I truly have no idea what we would do if my FIL died. It would no doubt fall to us to care for her and I am in no way capable of handling it.

Sorry to get off here. I never talk about this and it burdens me so. I have gone with her to surgery and just wish I could do something to help her.
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